Hey Loves,
This is my last post for a while on socials. This post is for all to read vs just paid subscribers. It's been a while since I shared a free post.
Last week, I announced I was leaving socials as far as possible.
This meant I wouldn’t be on there sharing reels and whatnot on the regular.
If I was asked to do a LIVE or if I needed to share an event (as this is requested sometimes when I am part of festivals, for example)- I would.
But my relationship with Instagram has come to an end.
Instagram has been like a toxic boyfriend.
I’ve tried to end the relationship for the past four years and I’ve gone back.
Trying new strategies and new reels, and keeping up with everything IT desired.
Reels that last one minute you say- sure.
I’ll do whatever pleases you
and makes YOU happy.
I just want you to like me.
Then there’s the others in the relationship- more of a multiway relationship.
Do others see ME?! Like literally, do they SEE me.
My fav was when I saw 30 people out of 7k view my stories in 24 hours. Gone are my 4k story views.
I started my relationship with Instagram a little later than some. I began by sharing cute flatlays and crafts.
Then, I started a small craft business and had a wonderful account sharing cute pictures of pears and selling them via Etsy/ NOTHS.
At the same time, I started a personal account sharing my IVF journey. Many people followed this account and it turned into all things fertility, children and motherhood. It became 'thisisnaomigale.'
I also tried sharing a ‘club ‘ vibe account. Not a going- 'out, out club' but a personal journey/inner work club. I struggled with two accounts.
During this time, I also went viral on TikTok and have managed others’ social accounts along the way.
Instagram has given me a lot.
It gave me a platform to be seen with my crafts.
Allowed me to find an audience to whinge to with all things fertility.
Inspired me to begin my professional journey with fertility and pelvic health when I received so many requests for informal supportive calls/coffee meets.
It allowed me to go viral and find my voice despite the haters.
Over time, it’s just started to become more and more of a challenge for my own personal mental health.
It hasn't brought me anything tangible in a long time.
I question if my clients actually come via my social accounts.
My accounts receive red flags and get ‘shadow banned’. I started to receive a few emails this year stating that I had disappeared from socials. My account was gone. They tried searching for me, looking in their DMS. Nada. Yet my account was visible to me.
Team this with my book having the same issues and then being harassed by a local group of women and you question the relationship.
As you may have seen, in January 2024 (this year obvs), I shared on Facebook a little photography-free idea for menopausal women who swim for their mental health. I pissed off a group of women. Not for my offering but they went on my socials and my website and tore me apart. Questioning my training.
As I usually do, I didn’t allow them to just silence me.
But I poked the bears.
So despite their WhatsApp group of women calling them out on their poor behaviour, they continued to harrass me.
They made up email addresses, continued to find business posts on FB and generally just got on my fucking nerves.
Sharing vagina work is shocking for many and it triggers people. Usually, I cope and ignore it. Delete, block. But these ones are at my local tidal pool. I see them regularly.
For the first time ever, I went to the police. I filed a report and gave them all the evidence. They confirmed it was harassment and a crime but they didn't have the details of who they were. So, I dutifully followed up with their numbers, emails etc. I got a long email back stating that this was harassment and that I must continue to file any new harassment.
However, unless it's REALLY bad harassment they can't do anything. Not the same example, but as usual with the police unless something major happens- they do nothing. Like a patch of road waiting for an accident before they put up a STOP sign or a zebra crossing. It's disgusting in my opinion. The time it took this PC to send me a story about harassment that warranted a fucking whole court case, they could have phoned or nipped around to said people involved.
I don't want a court case or any of the sort- just a friendly reminder to not slander and constantly be in touch with someone through false avenues that invoke a stalking-like feeling.
When I shared I was done with socials, some made it feel like it was the end of my business. “Good luck, Naomi.” Over 100 people unfollowed immediately. I’m still here, babe. Socials aren’t the only place to find people.
I haven’t shared on socials for a few weeks but formally ending the relationship and walking away has felt challenging. I am not 100 and I understand this is going to take a while.
A friend said she’d defo lose money in her business if she ended her socials relationship.
For me, I still will be posting in local groups and sharing my work and I may even create an ad. But to be on there trying to keep up with the demands of my toxic boyfriend is taking away from the work I could be doing which would be of actual use.
Ya know, like creating a course I’ve been meaning to create for years. Recording my audible book. Editing podcast episodes. Doing the things that bring me joy outside of work rather than thinking, ‘Oh that’s content, that.’
I mentioned in a previous post the joy and space NOT posting on socials has given me. And this continues on.
But the fear rises- what if I can’t run my business without socials.
Loads do. Some with zero presence.
I have been working through the story of Thecla and witnessing myself at each stage of our journey with all things Meggan Watterson. We are within the stage of- owning it.
I’ve moved through the grief, the loss, the despair and now I am with the ‘who am I?’
Instagram is a polarised place to be. Full of misinformation and challenge.
We are not meant and not cut out for socials.
Every time I posted, I would be frantically checking I hadn’t pissed someone off. Because once you do, it creates carnage and I just can’t be doing with it.
As the year of all things election is upon us while war is rife and we are still moving through the challenges that lockdown and Covid created- I’m not sure it’s even a space I want to be in.
My husband opens up socials to reels of dachshunds. He enjoys his scroll. I know many say they like the accounts they follow and enjoy it. But for me, it’s a distraction from my life, my reality and my children. I’d rather open a book than my phone.
I’ve got to commit now. I’ve said it enough so the time has come.
Instead, I post on YouTube, my website blog, Pinterest, Insight Timer and my newsletter. AND HEREEEEEE.
Plenty of places. Plus, I have a book out here.
An invitation: to consider how Instagram feels for you emotionally and spiritually.
N x