Hello Loves,
How are you?
I disappeared completely from Substack, paused members paying, with the hope to come back within a few weeks.
Weeks turned into months.
I didn’t know what to do with the space. I wasn’t sure it was worth my time. Responses were minimal and at times when you’re online it can feel like you’re just throwing shit at a wall and praying for something to stick.
As Autumn turns and Summer ends, I have been deeply reflecting on the Summer. I was consumed by the pressure of going to seven festivals to share all things vagina work.
There was joy and there was challenge. Then as September hit, I burnt out. I was unable to do anything more than the 1-1 sessions booked, be with my doula clients and then crawl back into bed.
I sat for hours on Pinterest, knitting, watching Bridget Jones and staring at the sky. I sat in ceremony, journalled and my journalling game has come back strong. I have managed to come back to writing a full large page again in one sitting.
I don’t need to nap every day and I feel more myself. I wasn’t okay.
My September period was a deep remembrance of the work I have come here to do. I was in a lot of pain- circa 2018. I tended to my womb and my vagina like I do for my clients.
My October bleed was gentle and loving. This is the work. My work.
Today, I woke up and felt I could jog again. So I came back to my running and my sea swimming (there was apparently some shit in the sea so I showered).
Deep rest.
I deeply rested.
Hours and hours of deep rest and honouring for my body.
So, I look to 2025 with my plan.
I spent two years deepening into festivals. In-person sharing. It was all free unless I had clients. I rushed over to Cornwall for one of my festivals and it was poorly organised, poorly advertised and I lost over £600 by going to it. This was huge for me and impacted my whole Summer with my children.
What does next year look like if this end of year isn’t spent applying to festivals like I have done for the last two years.
There’s one huge shift I am navigating at home with my children- that’s the first thing I have been with. Secondly, I am focussing on my doula and 1-1 work- as well as my photography.
That’s plenty.
But, I do enjoy finding ways to hold others who are not in Kent.
So, I am opening this space up to become a container. We will meet once a month to come to a sermon, if ya will, a talk. To come to the house of the pelvis- the house of the vulva, vagina, the portal to it all.
We will be with words each month, a meditation and reflection. We will then open out the conversation if people would like to share something. We close. And so on.
From November until May.
So a note:
This will all be free with the option to pay. If you’d like to support me to open this work for all- those who can and would like to- it’s the price of a Margate Chai Latte at £3.50 per month.
If you are a paying subscriber and would like to continue to pay then you don’t need to do anything.
If you are a free subscriber you can join as a paying subscriber any time.
If you are a paying subscriber and would like to cancel your payment- let me know before I turn on the paid feature again. (You were paying £6 and it will now be £3.50).
A couple of people paid for the year so they will be gifted another year of the space.
The details on how and where we will meet for the space will land soon.
Much love
Naomi x